Saturday 1 September 2012

Life, Oh Life

How well can one describe what Life is? Or should one ever try to explain what it is? Fate, destiny, master plan, choices, these things are intertwined with Life. Too many inspirational quotes and books were written trying to behoove us to accept the primordial thought that Life is pre destined-as it should be. But life is like a labyrinth.  Too many twists and turns. A single decision on which way to go leads you to another maze. And the cycle starts again. And there are some who are too sanguine, sugar coating everything and passing off Life as a fairy tale.

Take a single moment of Silence and examine your Life. Go back to as far as you can and remember the highlights and sidelights of every decision you have made and then ask yourself whether you have the kind of Life you wanted. Are you thankful for the life you have now or you wished to have a different one. Is there another person's life you wished you were living. Look yourself in the mirror and see if you like the reflection. Could it be that you, just like the millions of us in this planet, wished so fervently to have more than what you have; silently *despising* (for lack of a better word) the one we have. But just like anybody else, we are psychologically bound to accept it. There is resignation that everything is pre planned; like some part of a cosmic event that regardless of what we want or do, life is gonna end up the way that it is. Does that sound a bit bitter? 

You have to confess at some point we want things other people have; we try to pacify the inner wantings by telling ourselves we are content and yet, there's this inner, deep desires that cannot be silenced. Some sense of discontent gurgles within; self pity even. And anger too. Because we believe we deserve a little bit better and more. You try to compare lives, then. And from your vantage point, you cry out Foul. Questions abound as to why you have too little of this and that and others have more. Others whom you feel do not deserve these things. You feel slighted because you believe that you are better. And by comparison, you kinda sense you are on the lighter side of the scale. And then, you begin to question God.

There's too much whining, admit it. Deep down inside, regardless of how you convince yourself otherwise, you feel a longing. There are days when we fall into an abysmal fits of hunger and anger. Of desires and wants. But because we are predisposed to the idea that we should be satisfied with what is given, we try to placate the longings. But does longing for some things make us an ingrate? Isn't it human nature to long, to want. Does it make us less of a person, then? For without these, how can we strive to pursue our dreams or be grateful for those wishes that were granted. Life is an Irony. To be able to appreciate things, sometimes, we need to experience challenges, discouragement and the likes. 

You can be dismayed. Believe me, it does take some inner strength to bounce back. There are times, where whining is easier than doing something about it.  But one cannot and should not stay in the dark for so long. Sure, we are swamped with too many hits and misses it's hard to be happy sometimes. And up to this point, while writing this, I am questioning myself whether this piece is too saccharine for peoples' tastes or that it sublimely expresses the things I want. I am not trying to explain Life. No one should explain Life. For we are on a journey of our own. We don't have the same Life. We are who we are by the experiences we went through. No one has the right to judge us.

And by coincidence, I came across these lines lifted from Henry James' The Portrait of a Lady, which I believe happens to be appropriate for this. And I quote, 
" It’s just as when one has been trying to spell out a book in the twilight, and suddenly the lamp comes in. I had been putting out my eyes over the book of life, and finding nothing to reward me for my pains; but now that I can read it properly I see that it’s a delightful story.”




3 comments:

  1. I've enjoyed reading these words of wisdom, Sheila.

    It's true about life. In life you have to let the golden moments burn and linger longer so that when the day comes when darkness threatens to dwindle the dreams to ashes - light still prevails in the flame that will lead you back towards the sun you came from....

    In building memories we create a lasting pathway in life from which we learn in hindsight and get the right "tools" so to speak to make informative decisions in the present and build dreams in the future.

    Happy to have read this excellent piece, Pix

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    Replies
    1. Different strokes for different folks, as they say Bill. I believe that the measure of one's strength is not how many challenges one has gone through but on how he reacts to each. The "flight or fight" instinct. Darkness only becomes unbearable maybe because one forgot to turn on the light. :P To borrow your words, when dreams dwindle into ashes, Rise like the phoenix each time. ;) And thank you for the compliment.

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  2. Dear Sheila, I loved reading your words of wisdom in this well written piece.

    You are so right indeed in your answer to William, about "the fight or flight" instinct. Sometimes in life you will choose either of the two to preserve and persevere in whatever situation it calls for.

    Life is indeed about so much more than just living,
    breathing,
    getting up,
    going to bed:
    the same routine stuff.

    Every now and again - life and love can sweep you off your feet and make you realize anew - what this life is precisely about.

    Have a wonderful weekend. ♥

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